my mouth is open but I'm not saying anything
want to scream fuck it, really loud but I don't
want to scare the neighbors.
Don't want to upset my dog.
I move around on the carpet.
Trying to get comfortable.
I am failing miserably.
I ingest adderall and count to ten.
If I am calm enough "You" will magically appear in front of me.
But there is no "You"
I don't know who "You" are...
Feels like I am imagining "You"
making "You" up
If I fall asleep in the middle of the living room it will be tomorrow and I will have to go to work and everything will start all over again.
I want to fall asleep and wake up five years from now.
Maybe then there will be a real "You" and my desires/life would make sense.