Try harder

My friend tells me she just wishes she could die
And I can't help but think about a Wikipedia entry
I read three days ago about someone younger and
Way more successful than me.

A year ago I gave up weed for cigarettes. Traded jail
Time for tooth decay, bad breath and cancer.

We talked about babies. I said I'd only consider having
One if I could name it Bruce Willis jr, you kissed me and
I interpreted that as "no dice, baby"

I search Internet porn sites and type in the name of
Various foods. I will never look at donuts the same.

When my mother passed away, I thought about your legs
At the funeral, thighs begging to be bitten, and how beautiful
You could look in the morning, when tired was the only
Expression you could muster.

I tell my friend "it gets better" and tell myself that tomorrow
I will build myself a new heart out of cotton candy and
Starburst.

I write a note to myself and stick it to my bathroom mirror, it reads
"Try harder"