kiddo

i will rustle your hair and call you kiddo
i like ice cream and the way it makes you
smile. will you act like a child with me?
Just once, I want to see your kite tangle
its string with mine, mixed like brad pitts
adopted children. I like you.

In your garden

Place my hand in your hand
I am sleeping in your garden
Ants and centipedes walk all over me
I watch birds in the distance
I'd give anything to hold you again
I'm sorry I like you better than myself
I don't know how to follow through with anything
I am tending your garden
you have abandoned every flower
I think you should grow tomatos out here
seems lonely
seems bleak
I want your feet over my feet
your lips on mine
I am starving for you, shaking too
There is a storm coming
I want to save every flower
pieces of you
But I will probably go search for shelter
The rain is too cold

untitled

I am deep in you
knees and eyes
awe, I shuck
in your presence

when it rains
i am wet for you
kiss me like a
love song

they dont write love
poems
for us

we make love for them
to dream about

I want you

Loud intense sobbing

look in to the mind of a man with a 'bleak' existence
study his face, listen to his philosophy, shit eating grin
he is full of shit. Watch him smoke a cigarette, watch
him look at you, watch him wait for you to make the
first move, watch him sweat nervously. He is too frail.
Watch him take in everything you say. He is falling for
you, all over you, he is lost in the depths of you,
you are now the reason for his being. You will be the reason
for his joy, the reason for his depression, when he shits he
will think of you, when he masturbates, when he brushes his
teeth, when he writes his term paper, while he loses sleep.
He will spend hours and hours and hours upon hours thinking
of the perfect conversation. When he sees you he will not
remember a thing. He will go blank. Study this man.
You will never marry this man. He is too complicated for you. You are
not complicated. You know what you want from life. Pity this man.
Befriend him. Do something with his penis sometimes. And when
shit gets too real break his heart and walk away. He will hide in his
existential blanket, he will weep afterwards. Sob loud and intensely
holding a pillow, holding a cellphone, putting up the volume on his ipod,
listening to sad music, the only kind of music he likes.

There is a polar bear sitting on my chest, just kidding it is sitting on my face, it is sitting on your face, it is digesting things fiercely with intense eyes and androgynous mannerisms. I am not depressed.

You are not a difficult person
you don't hate everyone
you don't masturbate often
you are smart, clean and very
responsible
I know this
I believe this
I tell myself this every night
staring into the mirror
looking into my eyes
thinking about polar bears
and polar ice caps
and cancer
thinking about black babies,
flipper babies, latino babies,
bastards.

You are the person you want
to be, I tell myself religiously
with conviction, I am going
somewhere someday
I will get there
before I die
I promise
you are not
the weakest link
you are the ace of spades
you are fucking james dean
I lie to myself before
falling asleep in the shower.