Tuesday, November 15, 2011

12 am trying to make an impact.
I dont make anything.
Not even a noise.
Stomach is hurting.
Feel the urge to pee.
This is my night.
This is every night.
Feel the urge to txt or call.
Feel like i have nothing to say.
Feel like you wont care if i did.
'This is bad'
I tell myself in my head.
I am lying on a couch.
I dont own a bed.
Just a space to die on.
Felt the need to be melodramatic
when I wrote that last line.
Feel like shit.
I am fucked.
I wish i could get a blowjob right now.
It would be nice.
Or maybe a hug.
A small hug and a smile.
But i dont get anything
And you get it all.
I want to hate you but I feel
Too smart for that.
So i only feel dis-contempt for
Hiding my head in my pillow
Screaming softly inside.
Thinking 'this is it, this is it'
And telling myself
"Go to sleep"
While trying not
To 'sob'.
I couldn't 'sob'
If i wanted to anyways.
I dont feel a thing.
I want to hate you.
Maybe a little.
Boo hoo.

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