Saturday the 19th or something.

Woke up thinking 'i should masturbate or something'

But felt neither the urge nor motivation to do it.

I brushed my teeth, showered and looked at myself

In the mirror feeling neither confident or handsome.

I splashed water on my already wet face and got dressed

Feeling neither 'good' or 'satisfied' with what i was wearing.

Outside i called my dad and he told me things that

Happened to him. Hung up and felt bad for a few

Seconds and walked to the train station.

Took the 6 to 14th Street.

I feared for my life a little bit as a black or

Hispanic man stared at me with fierce

Intensity. I averted my eyes and thought

'If i need to i can fuck that guy up'

I listened to rap with the intent of feeling

'Tough' in case i did have to fuck someone up.

I got off the train and went to the strand.

I watched 'trendy' people work.

I asked 'trendy' people for help.

I bought

shoplifting at american apparel by tao lin

Cognitive behavioral-therapy by tao lin

Nothing a portrait of insomnia by blake butler

and everything matters by ron currie jr

I left the strand feeling vaguely satisfied

And bought a knish.

I was thinking 'this is my life. Its not so bad'

Then felt very lonely upon re entry into the subway

Station. Listened to neva dinova on the train and

Watched people cram themselves into the train.

Saw agitated and nervous faces.

I'll probably go home, buy chinese food and watch

I saw the devil on netlix alone and try not to think

Or care about it.